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Clear starlight to reveal the way,
   Northward to long lost memories,
Pulsing limelight to bathe in fame,
   Of forgotten hope and worth miseries.
Blinding moonlight to mirror the rain,
   Reflecting it unto near future,
Glowing sunlight to ignite the flame,
   From the spark between our subtle hearts.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconliduen-kvaedhi:

Author's Comments

I wrote this in math class today to keep myself from falling asleep. I spent the entire lunchtime editing it, to make it fit more to a romantic theme.

Advanced Critique Encouraged.

Comments


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:iconveinsrunempty:
Line 6: "unto" sounds really, really out of voice to me.

I like the stylizing, the italics and the spacing, that's neat.

--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was living in a Devil Town
Didn't know it was a Devil Town
And all my friends were vampires
Turns out I was a vampire myself
:iconliduen-kvaedhi:
Thanks, I'll take your advice into consideration.

--
#WLC
#WeEmote
#dAmnEpic

<3<3<3<3
:iconveinsrunempty:
^_^

Someone said to me, "Know your character, or we won't.". Great advice. And I used to be bad about randomly switching out of voice, you have so much more control over it.

--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was living in a Devil Town
Didn't know it was a Devil Town
And all my friends were vampires
Turns out I was a vampire myself
:iconveinsrunempty:
^_^ my pleasure.

--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was living in a Devil Town
Didn't know it was a Devil Town
And all my friends were vampires
Turns out I was a vampire myself
:iconiampoetry:
Again, love your use of syntax, and the words are even better.

--
Poetry is truly boundless. It is my passion, writing to you, that is. I am the canvas.
--
my poetry, lemon
both bitter and tart
you decide the taste of my art

©iampoetry
:iconiampoetry:
:iconmarshmallowjoy:

--
Poetry is truly boundless. It is my passion, writing to you, that is. I am the canvas.
--
my poetry, lemon
both bitter and tart
you decide the taste of my art

©iampoetry

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March 3
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